As a BYU-Idaho student, you hear the saying “ring by spring” a lot.
This is my third spring in Rexburg, and I have yet to “receive” a ring.
I have spent a fair amount of the last three years crushing on people, dating around, being in relationships and getting over heartbreaks.
But through all of these experiences, I have learned what it takes to have a healthy relationship, not only with a significant other but with myself.
One of the biggest things, I believe, that makes a difference in a romantic relationship is the relationship you have with yourself. How can someone love you, when you can’t love yourself?
Loving yourself might seem like a dumb place to start when looking for a relationship, but it is the best.
When you love yourself first, your self-worth will not change when someone else becomes involved.
Over a year ago, I was dating a man and he quickly became my world. He made me feel like I was the most important person in the world. I was head-over-heels in love with him.
When we broke up months later, I was crushed. I had placed so much of my worth on the things he told me that when we broke up, everything came crashing down.
I have spent a year working to move on because I let him impact how I saw myself. If I had a solid grasp of myself, I would have walked out of that relationship less of a mess, and with a better idea of who I was.
With these experiences, I have learned three things that helped me learn how to love myself:
- Daily self-care
This can be accomplished through simple things such as taking time for meditation or prayer, exercising for 10 minutes every day, or at night, preparing for the next day.
- Find something you are good at and do it
For me, it was writing. I see myself as a good writer, and I write to help process my thoughts and life events. Find whatever you are good at so you can feel joy and see yourself in a more loving light.
- Treat yo self
In the TV show, Parks and Recreation, two characters go out once a year and have a day of pampering and splurging. This can be a good treat. Now, you don’t have to be as excessive as the TV characters, but you can do something simple such as buying yourself a new outfit that you feel good in or buying a nicer bar of chocolate.
Whether you are in a relationship or not, love yourself and get yourself a chocolate bar.