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Can you be friends after a break?


Twice as many people believe it isn’t possible for men and women to be friends after a break.
In a survey at BYU-I, students were asked if guys and girls could be friends after a break .
“It’s usually not a good idea to be friends with an ex after a break until a significant amount of time has passed,” said Stephany Alexander, dating expert.
She said different factors determine the amount of time that should pass before the two parties can be friends after being in a serious relationship.
Factors like who did the breaking , how bitter it was and if they are in another relationship, should be taken into account.
YourTango did a survey of over 1,300 people, and found that 55 percent said it typically takes them months to get over someone they were romantically involved with.
“It’s very difficult for one or both parties to simply turn ‘off’ their feelings for each other and turn it from a love-based relationship into a platonic one,” Alexander said.
A selection of BYU-Idaho students were asked if they thought men and women could be friends after a break. Two out of every three men said ‘‘yes.’’
“I don’t see why not. I think people deserve to have as many friends as they want,” said Gustavo Costa, a freshman studying creative writing.
One out of every three women said that they thought men and women can be friends after a break .
“From what I’ve seen it can’t be done. It’s hard to be friends comfortably because one [person] is always emotionally attached,” said Brianne Stander, a senior studying child development.
Molly Smock, a senior studying communications said that it isn’t possible to be friends after a break .
She dated someone for two and a half years, and where both decided that things weren’t going anywhere she ended it.
They tried to remain friends, she said, but he still had feelings for her. She says he would get jealous and angry when she tried to move on, so she cut ties altogether.
“We make small talk but we are not friends,” Smock said.
Raquel Bentim, a senior studying exercise physiology said that it is possible to be friends again after a break . She is married and said she holds no grudges. She and her husband even go out on double dates with her exes on occasion.
Alexander cautioned people to put themselves in the shoes of their significant others. They should ask themselves if they’d be comfortable with their loved one spending time with those they used to date.


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