In a time when women can vote, own property and have careers alongside men, the etiquette rules of dating can be a mystery.
Throughout the course of history, women have fought for their rights and have successfully established the equality they deserve. But does that mean in the world of dating they should make the first move?
In an attempt to answer this question, 30 BYU-Idaho students were asked if they thought girls should ask guys out on a first date. 10 out of the 15 girls said they didn’t think they should, but only four out of the 15 guys said they don’t like it when girls ask guys on first dates.
“Women shouldn’t lead the initial interaction as the dominant figure, but they can still initiate,” said dating coach Adam LoDolce, “[There is a ] big difference. I call it ‘initiation without desperation.’ Men still want to feel that they deserved the date.” LoDolce is known as The Dating Confidence Coach and can be found at www.adamlodolce.com.
Psychology professor Michael Mills conducted a study to determine which gender liked to be asked out on a first date and which one liked to do the asking. The study revealed that 93 percent of women preferred to be asked out, leaving 6 percent that would rather do the asking. For the males, 16 percent preferred to be asked out, leaving 83 percent that would rather do the asking.
According to the “Make Guys Work” argument for an article in the Chicago Tribune, most girls want their “Prince Charming” to come and sweep them off their feet. They find it more romantic for a guy to ask them out first. The article said, “So if you’re a sucker for romance, here’s a tip: Give hints and flirt, but let the guy do the asking.”
LoDolce said instead of dominating a situation, women can play, flirt and tease. By turning on the charm they can approach a guy, but still let the man feel like he is a man.
“I guess I’m kind of old school. So when I was dating I waited for the guy to ask me. But if I did like a guy I would always say things like ‘Lets go on a date some time! That would be fun!’” said Kenna Adams, a junior studying marriage and family studies.
According to the “Break Tradition” argument in the same Chicago Tribune article, traditional dating is over and a new “go-get-‘em” approach is needed for today’s scene. Feminists worked hard for women’s rights and that effort shouldn’t be wasted by modern women in their love lives.
“I wouldn’t mind it [if a girl asked me out]. I think that the social norm is changing, which is making it okay for girls to ask” Jace Whatcott, a junior studying English.
These days, a lot of men like it when girls ask them out, and some girls encourage fellow females to take control.
“Women have been able to hold higher positions in a job and therefore have more control than they ever have since before the Women’s Rights Movement,” said Mary Diehl, a senior studying exercise physiology, “I think it can be appropriate for girls to ask guys on dates—either just for fun or if they are interested. Since we live in a society that has allowed that, then girls have no excuse to complain about guys not asking them out; if girls want to go on a date, take the initiative.”
Sometimes when girls ask guys on dates it works out, and sometimes it doesn’t. The appropriateness of the asking often depends on the individuals and the situation. Some girls who take the chance go home with broken hearts, and others wouldn’t have found the man of their dreams if they hadn’t done the asking.
“I would never have married the woman of my dreams had she not taken charge,” Tom Silva, a sophomore studying psychology.